Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She's the barista slut.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
