it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
