his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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