I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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