My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
