There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
