Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
