Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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