We're like a lot better than the average bears
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize