Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
