And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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