glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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