Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
