I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
is wine microwaveable?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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