Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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