omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
