She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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