You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
