am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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