im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
