i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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