She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
