you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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