Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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