quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
