Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
