I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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