I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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