i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
