I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize