with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize