remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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