I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
