..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
