how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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