I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
