so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
