Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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