Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
