No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
