oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
