two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
