I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
