Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
