it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
