I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
