i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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