Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
