yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize