it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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