i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
