yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
