My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
