today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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