I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
