We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize