Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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