Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
