I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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