He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
