is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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