Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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