Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize