I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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