Pants 0. Shit 1.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
