My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
